Living To Shred

I’ve been sitting looking at one of the modern conveniences that we all have learned to love or hate. I pulled out the stack of bills from last year and am getting ready to start the shredding process. Oh, joy! In the ‘good old days’ there was no real concern that anything with a name and/or address must be shredded into smithereens. Now we must constantly worry about someone else wanting to assume our identity and ruin our lives. In order to save us from doom, the all important ‘must have’ item for every home has become The Shredder.... plain or deluxe version.

I opted for the less expensive home version. Now I am sad that I didn’t get something more expensive that would handle those dreaded staples, credit cards, and CDs. I have to spend extra time making certain that no devilish little staple will ruin The Shredder.

At first glance, the ordeal of shredding every scrap of paper received doesn’t sound like much of a problem. It seems doable. Having other things to do as well, it takes a certain amount of prioritizing. It takes time to sit down and remove every evidence of my existence from the offending document. After a through inspection to make sure my life won’t be ruined by this scrap of paper, I can put part in the trash can and part in the ‘to shred’ sack. The ‘to shred’ sack is growing with frightening speed.

I’m wondering exactly how much of my life minutes will be spent in the shredding process. My friend, JuJu (a name bestowed on her by grandchildren), has been moving s l o w l y to a new home in a different state. She is a saver off all things. However, moving brings a startling bit of reality into the situation, so she began shedding many of the ‘not needed’ items and shredding many many years of ‘stuff’. When I’d call her and ask what she was doing, the usual reply was ‘Oh, I’m shredding.’ For awhile, shredding took over her life.... the woman lived to shred.

I’m sorry there are so many people out there who can find nothing better to do in life than make life miserable for others. If only they would put their problem solving skills to some better use and quit worrying about wanting to have my identity, it would benefit lots of people. I know that the more technical toys we have available to us, the more open we are to those with devious minds. Personally, if they are caught and given room and board guaranteed by the state, I wish they would make them shred paper day and night. I say, the punishment should fit the crime.