Hiding Under The Bed

I have made a decision. I’m going to go get under the bed and stay there. I have an antique bed, so it is possible to get under it. I’m heading that way soon and may not come out.... ever.

I know I’m getting older.... who isn’t? Once in awhile I even startle myself passing the mirror and catching a sudden glimpse of myself..... Who is that? Surely it isn’t me! Can’t be! Not possible!

I’m sure everyone has experienced that at one time or another. We cope. There is a little head shaking and a brief wondering of where on earth time has flown.

I was okay with it, really. Like everyone else, I’ve adjusted. I actually like the perks that coming of age as a ‘Senior Citizen’ brings. Still, when I’m not getting a discount because of it, I rather like to think I’m younger in age.... say just shy of fifty... like forty-seven.

I’m really hedging in working up to the cause of my decision to seek refuge under the bed. It’s bad... it’s huge... its really awful. I don’t even like to think about it. Okay.... here goes:

I was invited to join one of those online groups so I could see pictures and a blog of an acquaintance who I’ve kept up with for awhile. He, Jer R., was working his first tech job when I met him. He was a HUGE help to me in my classroom when I was given a whole new room of computers to put together and a lab to get up and running. It was a challenge, and a bit overwhelming at times. Jer R. was part of a duo, whom I lovingly referred to as ‘my tech guys.’ When something was needed in the lab, here they came. I was always SO glad to see them. They were both a blessing to our school system, and certainly to me. I think they saved my sanity. Really, I do. They also introduced me into the world of Apple Computers and won me over as a permanent fan of all things Apple. They were both friendly and helpful, and I grew to love my ‘tech guys.’

It wasn’t long until they went to other positions, climbing ladders to things more challenging. I thought fondly of both of them, and was pleased to get to keep up with Jer R. He has a lovely family, a ‘cute as pie’ daughter, and I just like knowing about them and seeing pictures. In some ways, Jer. R helped to make me more comfortable with computers, and I have managed to step up and incorporate computers into my life in a way I probably wouldn’t have without their encouragement.

Jer R. has been so busy in the work world (after all, he is a rising star) that he hasn’t really had time to keep up with posting pictures on his site. However, he has moved to a new city and home that came with a promotion. I had a rare e-mail from him saying that he was going to get back on his computer soon. Then he seemed to surface and find a bit of time to start playing on the Internet again.

I was shocked when he gave up his iMac account for something different. I don’t think that means he loves them less, but is opting for change. He sent me an invitation to see his new site. He was forming a group. It was nice to be included. However, I had to sign up with the site to be able to see the pictures. It is one of those members and friends thing. That is good as keeps things private rather than public. Like I said, I was glad to be included in the list of those who would be able to see what he posts there. I looked forward to seeing pictures of his daughter, who I imagine is growing like a weed.

Since I had to sign up on Google to see his pictures, I started looking around and decided to try their sponsored Blogspot... So, he has managed to get me into yet another thing. I kept checking his new site and decided he had fallen off the planet again. Translated: Work was keeping him too busy for playing on the Internet.

Then I received a second invitation to view his work. This time it was from another location. I went there and was faced with signing up for another account. I began to wonder if I was going to be forced to have accounts all over the Internet just to see his family pics.

It was then I entered the ‘twilight zone’ so to speak. He has created something that is full of all kinds of things... things I don’t understand at all.

Suddenly, the senior citizen part of me came into full view. I’ve always been afraid that someday I’d not be able to use the remote control. It does happen. My mother has difficulty switching around on the remote to enable her to use her old VCR. Even the thought of upgrading to a DVD player, where she would have to go through the selection of play movie, etc., is something I don’t think we could face together. She would be totally lost

Well, here I was on Jer R’s new site. Oh gussie! I’m not sure if the tech side of me felt like a kid in a candy shop, or if the senior citizen side of me felt like I’d been given a remote control I couldn’t understand. It’s just full of stuff, stuff, stuff.

Now remember, I told you that in order to see the blog, you have to sign up. Then you become ‘a friend’ of the one who invited you. You are encouraged to fill out your own profile so all ‘the friends’ can see it. They also ‘let’ you post a picture of yourself, which is posted in tiny ‘thumbnail’ form. Of course, you can click on the thumbnail and see it larger...much larger..in detail.

I looked at all the friends, twenty-five at last count, prominently displayed. They are all pictures of the ‘under thirty’ crowd of those who are his ‘friends’. There is no way on this green earth that I want to post my mug shot among the group of the under thirty with everything stretched tight crowd. I don’t even take a good picture. I suddenly felt as if I had dropped in on a party, and it was the wrong party.

I looked around for his folks. Surely they were listed here. No, not yet. I saw no geriatric grouping. It was just them and me, the young verses the wrinkled. By my name, there was a big blue question mark. Oh, Gussie, a BIG blue question mark!

Dear Gussie, what was I doing there? I had to escape. I found the bookmarks on my browser and did what came naturally. I headed to AARP, where I felt comfortable, and played Sudoku. At least I understand Sudoku.

So, there it is, folks. I am to remain a big question mark.... a blob on his blog. Either that, or I must revoke my friendship status. Again, this older chick has NO plans of becoming a poster child for the aged among the thirty and younger crowd. I can just hear the other friends now.. 'So, who is that old woman?’

That’s when I decided to hide under the bed. I just need some time to reflect and get some perspective. I’m sure I’ll be out one day, but I’m not sure when that will be.

(Jer. R., If you read this, just smile.... I think it’s funny. )