Micromanaging Men

Let me assure you, this is not a commercial for tuna. This is about me... and New Man. This is about micromanagement. This is about needing to find and finding humor.

This little story began when New Man and I decided that we would get together for a very light dinner. A tuna sandwich with tomato, a few chips, and a slice of cantaloupe. I didn't have a tomato, so he would pick one up at the store. I also had used the last of my tuna, so he would bring one from his house. It seemed simple enough.

I'll have to give New Man some serious points for not being afraid to get in the kitchen himself and help out. He has no problem taking up the knife and peeling a tomato. I've put that down on the plus side of my mind as far as New Man is concerned. He would probably get a minus if he headed to the TV and grabbed the remote and let me alone in the kitchen. Actually, I have sent him to the TV before as wanted to be alone in the kitchen. Sometimes it is just easier to get everything to come out at the same time if I don't have someone else fussing around in the kitchen.

Yesterday found us both involved in sandwich making. He busied himself with peeling the tomato. I don't normally peel tomatoes as think there is value in the tomato skin. I just slice them and eat them. New Man thinks peeling is the way to go. I don't fuss about it. I just let him peel them.

While he was busy peeling the tomato, I reached for the can of tuna. (I must say at this point that I'd rather have the package kind as they have less to drain. However, I'm dealing with what he brought.) So... I opened the can of tuna. I pressed the lid gently against the tuna to help it drain. At this point, New Man looks up from his tomato peeling, leans over and pokes the lid of the can and said.....( Are you ready for this? I wasn't!) ..... he said "Just press the lid against the tuna to drain it."

I highlight that little suggestion from New Man as think you might just want to reread it a few times.

I have to tell you that at this point there was a pregnant pause on my part. I say pregnant as there were lots of thoughts that developed in my mind during the time those words left his lips and I formulated my response.

Was this man seriously suggesting that I didn't know how to manage a can of tuna? Did he honestly think I needed suggestions on can opening and draining? Was he serious? Was he even aware of what he was doing or saying? He had definitely tapped that can lid. He had issued the order that would make draining tuna work efficiently. He had gotten right back to tomato peeling as if nothing had happened. He was in his own zone, only interrupting it briefly to impart wisdom to me.

I've got to tell you... I knew what he said! I'd heard it loud and clear. I was considering making a notation in the minus column of my mind.

I decided, being the mature individual that I am, that I would handle this situation in an adult manner. This man needed serious intervention and training. It was a hurdle that had to be handled. (Am I overreacting here?)

I crossed off slugging him. I crossed off a really huffy attitude. I decided in the flash of an instant to lead him gently to see the error of his ways.

As he finished tapping the can and letting me in on the secret of tuna can draining... As the last word of his helpfulness faded away, I slowly turned my head, looked directly into his eyes, smiled, and sweetly said... (Here we go...!) I said, "Dear, are you serious?"

I put the ball right back in his corner and just waited for the reaction. I have to say that it didn't take him long to access the situation and recognize his error. I could see recognition of his blunder as it passed before his eyes.

Remember here.... I'm smiling sweetly at him having just asked the "Dear, are you serious?" question. I'd even chuckled a bit when I asked it. I was ready with my checkmarks: positive, negative, or what the heck.

I saw his eyes crinkle and his mouth form a smile. He laughed saying he was just use to the 'being boss' role. I assured him that he was boss of the ranch, for sure. I confessed that I didn't know one thing about a ranch. I reminded him that I did know something about cooking and draining tuna. We both laughed. I'm going to give him a big plus for seeing the humor and being able to laugh at himself.

You might also note that New Man is organized. He puts dates of purchase on things when putting them on the shelf. I guess I've been too lazy to do that, but it really is a good idea. Daughter I-Needa said that she does that too. I just might learn something from that one. I have yet to decide if I'll admit that to New Man. I might.... I just might. It would be the thing to do.

By the way, the tuna got drained, the sandwiches were made and eaten, and all is well with the world. Oh... the checkmark.... positive. I filed it under flexibility and not being stubborn or defensive. I think the ability to laugh at our own silliness is a big plus. I also gave myself a checkmark for tact. Tah Dah.