Trying to Communicate

MCM and I are having a little communication problem.

MCM likes for people to give him concrete directions as to what they want. He likes pictures, diagrams, details. He can work with that. I think I must be driving him crazy as my current plans are just not there. They are vague, without any diagrams, and fuzzy at best. He asks questions as needed when he gets to something that I , as homeowner, should decide. I respond by flinging my arms around and saying intelligent things like ‘I don’t know!’ ‘What do you think?’ ‘What is it you need again?’ There are gray hairs beginning to make their way into MCM’s black hair. I ventured a guess one day that they might be directly related to me. He assured me that that could be the case.

Yesterday I had a simple (if there is any such thing) assignment. I was to go to Nearby City and head to Lowe’s. I was to pick out either some cove or crown molding to put right under the new box that will appear on the north wall of the kitchen. It has to be there for the heat/air to arrive in the back room. MCM’s idea is to disguise it. Cabinetry is going to be put under it. He needed the molding that would go on top of the cabinetry so he could make the perfect (Love his perfectionist ways!) something or other. Sorry, there is that vagueness that is driving him crazy. I just really don’t understand exactly why he needs this essential piece of molding at this moment. It has something to do with the angle on the back of the molding. It must be known. It will also be something that will be added to the tops of the other cabinets in the room.

I took off for Nearby City as well equipped as I could be for my assignment. I’d begged MCM to no avail to go with me. He said ‘NO!’ and made me go by myself. The mean man. He hates hates hates shopping. Of course, I could see the value of him accompanying me to the store. I felt deep inside that he would be better served in the long run helping me with this. I just had to take his answer and go with it, so headed out to try to do what he asked.

Standing in the molding aisle of Lowe’s, I set to make a selection. I really didn’t know what I wanted, but at least could be guided by signs that said ‘cove’ or ‘crown’. I decided to head to the kitchen cabinet area and just see what lovely things were at the top of their cabinetry. I was a little reluctant as I headed there as the idea that a combination of moldings were probably going to be used, and I’d not know what to do about that. I was right. Then I saw one cabinet that had a rather plain top. It didn’t have any of that molding that had angles on the back. It was flat... perfectly flat around the edges.

How on earth was I going to check with MCM about this new wrinkle. I finally decided to call him on my cell. His answering machine picked up... he didn’t. I really NEEDED him, so stayed on the line saying, ‘Pick up.. pick up... go ahead, pick up. He did. I proceeded to try to explain in ‘words’ what he needed to ‘see’. I realized from the get-go that it was going to be a daunting task. He couldn't see me flinging my arms around. Seriously, I talk with my hands. I explain and demonstrate at the same time. I knew he would say things back to me that I’d not really understand. I have the same problem. I need to ‘see’ things too. After a bit of back and forth, he asked if I couldn’t just go pick a board I liked and bring it home. I could take it back to the store later. I said, ‘Well, fine! It will just be a straight flat board! Perfectly plain and FLAT! Simple simple simple!’

‘Simple’, he said.. Then he launched off into the kind of thing that breaks the ice and lightens the weighty feeling I had. ‘Did I ever tell you’, he said, about the girl from Arkansas that I met, who was so simple that, when she smiled, tobacco juice ran out of both sides of her mouth?’

I’m telling you, it is all about humor. We MUST have it. Without a little humor along the way, we would never make it in this world. When things seem to be getting tense, just throw in a little humor, and it will be better... most of the time.

I came home with no board. I even forgot to go buy another item that I’d planned on getting. I was wrung out and tired to the bones over trying to select a piece of cove or crown molding. I didn’t get one... I hope MCM can understand when I try to tell him what I want. I did pick up a few cabinetry books and am trying to find pictures of my ideas. Of course, the exact cabinet wasn’t to be found in any of them.

My poor MCM must deal with a crazy woman. I’m glad he is patient and persistent. Otherwise, he might throw down his tools and exit the building. Then I’d be sad... REALLY sad. I guess we will see how this goes when he returns and I am without the strategic piece of molding. Oh, my. Knowing him, he will cope. One good thing... I do have more of an idea of what I want. If I can manage to make a few decisions just ahead of his working, we may come out of this okay in the end. The remodel will go on.