Always Put the Toilet Seat Down!

I-Needa called last night. She started by thanking me for always making her put toilet seats down. She came home yesterday from work, threw her purse and keys on the table, and headed to the downstairs bathroom. She said that usually she doesn't bother to turn on the light in there, but for some reason she did. She lifted the lid on the toilet and there in the toilet was a drowned squirrel!

Of course, she slammed the lid down and screamed. That is just what I would have done too. I-Needa and I simply aren't geared to handle such emergencies well. At that point, we need a man. She went into serious thinking mode as to what man she might know who was brave enough to retrieve the dead squirrel from the toilet. She thought of a friend's husband. He would be perfect. She called and told her friend all about her problem. They came right over with husband properly dressed for squirrel retrieval.

I-Needa remained squeamishly at a distance while He Man, who came prepared with gloves, bag, and floppy hat, stepped up to the toilet and checked it out. His comment: 'Well, that's a big one, and he is dead.' With that, he plucked the poor creature from his watery grave and placed him in the ziplock bag.

The idea of ALWAYS putting the seat down began years ago when I was a kid still living at home. That was the days before APSD (Always Put Seat Down). A sewer rat came up through the toilet and escaped into the house. Fortunately, Dad was at home, so he immediately flew into action and chased the rat around the house with a large waste can. When he finally managed to corner the critter and get him under the can, he went to the basement and got some ether, that once used anesthetic. He was a dentist, and for some reason he had some of that stuff in the basement that day. Anyway, he put some ether on a rag and got it under the waste can. Then he waited until the rat passed out. It worked.

Our family learned a lesson that day... Always put the toilet lid down! That is my routine, and I've passed that on to my children complete with the rat story. I-Needa was bubbly with gratitude when she called. Her life might have been a tad more complicated if the poor creature had gotten out of the toilet bowl and spent the day running around her condo being chased by the dog. The picture wouldn't have been pretty.

If I've ever given you one good piece of advice that you might want to take to heart, this might be it. Anything that happens to get into the sewer pipes can come up in your toilet. Spare yourself. Put the toilet seat down and look before you sit.