When I wrote about poor Daughter I-Needa and the squirrel that got into her toilet and drowned, I NEVER thought their would be a part 2 to the story. I'm sad to say, there is a part 2.
I-Needa was messing around in the kitchen a couple of days ago and heard a noise coming from the downstairs bathroom... a splashing sound. It just couldn't be!! No way should she have to endure yet another round of having a critter in her toilet bowl. The first one was stress enough.
Going into the bathroom and checking it out, there was definitely a splashing sound coming from the toilet bowl. Big question: WHAT to do?
I realize that we humans create contingency plans in our heads for many possible emergency situations. Personally, I have plans for what to do if there is a power outage. I have some survival plans. I do not have any plan for what to do if I hear something splashing around in my toilet. I suppose I'd scream and my stress level would shoot through the roof. Past that, I'd have no idea how to get the critter out of the toilet and out of my life.
I really felt for I-Needa when I called and she picked up the phone and told me what was going on. I felt her pain, her frustration, her stress level rising. I was glad I was here in my own home without something splashing around in the toilet. I would have been no help. Seriously.
I-Needa jumped into action and did what any good woman should do... she thought about what man she could call. She needed one then... a hunter... a problem solver... a man who wasn't afraid of anything that could be splashing around in her toilet. She needed someone to lift that lid and solve her problem.
Not all men are created equal. Some are endowed more with hunter instincts and problem solving skills. With her thinking cap on, the image of such a hunter and problem solver formed in her mind. She picked up the phone and dialed his number.
Thankfully, he was receptive to her needs and prepared to come to her aid. He would need a bit of time to form a capture plan, but he would be there. To his credit, this man had been watching a football game... with only forty seconds to go.... his favorite team. The fact that he was able to tear himself away and rescue a damsel in distress renews my faith in humanity.
There is this thing I've learned about men. It may have been from that book about men being from Mars and women being from Venus. However, it is true. Men are the problem solvers. Hand them a problem, then get out of the way. They will mull it over and come up with a solution. I-Needa was counting on this.
Sure enough, the Man had the solution for capture and retrieval when he arrived on her doorstep. According to I-Needa, it was an brillant plan, and the man was very pleased with his invention.
The problem: There was nothing in the toilet. Alas, the critter had gotten back out of the bowel and into the vent pipe. Now she would be left to call the plumber. Of course, it was dark and there wouldn't be any getting a plumber until the next day.
To I-Needa's credit, she had the good sense to let the hunter and problem solver demonstrate what he would have done if the critter had been there to capture. She bragged on his brilliance and thanked him profusely for coming to help. Then she called the plumber.
According to the plumber, she would need to call Mr. Rooter. Yes, now she would need to have her toilet 'snaked.' Arrangements were made, and Mr. Rooter man arrived to deal with the problem. The toilet had to be unseated. There it was... a bushy squirrel tail coming from a pipe behind the toilet.
According to I-Needa, most of the people who know her are now afraid of their toilets. Squirrel number 1 was reason enough to convert all to putting down their toilet lids each and every time. Squirrel number 2 brought fear of vent pipes into action.
Rescue Man number 3 showed up later in the day to put a screen on the vent pipe, which is on the roof. Hopefully, really hopefully, there will be no squirrel number 3. If there is, I-Needa will probably have her home on the market. Just kidding.
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